LIFE: I dont know what it is...

Life has turned out to be an arrow let out of a bow without any Aim!

Cruising lazily just like the earth revolving in space. From outside it looks like a nice and smooth ride, internally its a struggle as I pass from moment to moment.

This struggle is against my thoughts, against my principles and against the way I live. Coz its flow is completely opposite to that of the world.

Life has become harder as I swim against the stream. My shoulders are tired of finding way, and so are my legs pushing my meat and bones against the stream.

I'm tired, I'm confused and I see darkness in future. I Haven't got a clue about my next move.

I need a Time Warp, couple of moments to pull myself up, to make healthy adjustments, to find the way and most importantly to get to know what I am really seeking in this World!!!

Waiting Room!!!

(Inspired by the latest blog by Thinking and my daily experience. @Thinking - My apologies if I misused your tone of saying here!)

I travel to office daily by AC Volvo city bus which has no reservation of front rows for ladies(usually done in ordinary buses). Which means I can occupy the seats at the front of the bus.

I wasn't suppose to sit there even then.. as many ladies prefer and usually occupy those seats.. but I did..hmmm..

I wasn't suppose to be near women that close....

The promise I made to myself long back, to avoid girls to keep me safe from the Temptations of the adolescence and not to get close to any girl until I able to make one mine for life(get married)

I knew the best way to avoid girls it stay away from them and not to depend on them for any thing.

But here I'm sitting very close to these beautiful young women.

I wanted to make friends with one of them, get indulge with her but I shouldn't. The best way to keep myself off of these temptations was to be close to them and don't talk to them.

And I'm fully surrounded by these beautiful young women wearing attractive dresses and scents that mesmerizes and for a moment takes your subconscious to the room lit with fragrance candles and a bed covered with rose petals and other colorful scented flowers. On the bed, a lady in red attire, I don't know who she is? All I see is her sitting with her one leg folded to her chest, head bent with shyness and covered with the translucent, shiny veil till the nose. I could see her lips trembled with fear, yet a shy smile on her rosy cheek. I couldn't help myself from smiling at her....

"...TICKET TICKET.." shouted the conductor, which brought me back into my seat on bus.

The smile I gave was real and I could only realize that after I noticed a gorgeous women, scantily dressed, staring fiercely at me as if she would burn me with that look. I quickly turned my head towards the window and closed my eyes and cursed my temptations.

She didn't knew that I was lost in my world, but sure she thought that I was scaling her assets in detail which I hardly noticed.

I was deeply embarrassed for what happened which I did not mean to. All these years I had turned down every opportunity to make a girlfriend just to save my Fidelity for the one, with whom I'll be spending my rest of the life and thereafter. I had even avoided every pleasure of eye candies or the feeling of being touched. But this one moment nearly ruined all that I had acquired by being a pleasure renounced saint.

I spent the rest of my journey to office looking at the infinity across the window and re-vowing to myself to not sit in front rows anymore.
 
Thereafter, I preferred standing at the back of the bus though the seats were empty at the front.

I'm now the regular occupier of the corner window seat in the last row of the bus, where only the saints or losers like me give me company. 

When I'm tired and have no other options I would occupy the front row if the company I get is either of the below pictures.

Here I'm back in the Waiting Room part of the life, Safe and Fidel with deliberate Patience and a Hope to find a companion of the life and its Journey to begin soon...!

Beauty!

I'm back after a long break(at blogger.com) of Busy work life. I got to attend lot of parties including my best friend's marriage which also happens to be my first Muslim wedding.

What a memorable event was it where I realized what we really miss whenever we see a veiled face. ;-) Beautiful people with beautiful hearts serving beautiful foods and sharing beautiful thoughts of life. Never felt the people were of different religion. So much similarities in thoughts and rituals amidst diversified looks. Every moment gave the feeling of a family event.

This is what confuses me as I do not understand why there is so much hatred among the communities. May be its a strong proof that the hatred is not because of the clash of thoughts or beliefs. Instead it is being injected from outside in to our society to make us weak. To distract our focus from development and prosperity.

Hope everyone realizes this and once again Peace prevails on this land.

Vivekananda: On Patriotism

" ..They talk of patriotism. I believe in patriotism, and I also have my own ideal of patriotism. Three things are necessary for great achievements : 


First, feel from the heart. What is in the intellect or reason? It goes a few steps nad there it stops. But through the heart comes inspiration.Love opens the most impossible gates; love is the gates to all the secrets in the universe. Feel, therefore, my would-be reformers, my would-be patriots! Do you feel? Do you feel that the millions and millions of the descendants of gods and of sages have become next-door neighbour to brutes? Do you feel that millions have been starving today, and millions have been starving for ages? Do you feel that ignorance has come over the land as a dark crowd? Does it make you restless? Does it make you sleepless? Has it gone over your blood, coursing through your veins, becoming consonant with your heart-beats? Has it made you almost mad? Are you seized with the one idea of misery and ruin, and have you forgotten all about your name, your fame, your wives, your children, your property, even your own bodies? Have you done tht? This is the first step to become a patriot, the very first step.......

You may feel, then; but instead of spending your energies on frothy talk, have you found any way out, any practical solution, some help instead of condemnation, some sweet words to soothe their miseries, to bring them out of this living death? 

Yet that is not all. Have you got the will to surmount mountain high obstructions? If the whole world stands against you sword in hand, would you still dare to do what you think is right? If your wives and
children are against you, if all your money goes, your name dies, your wealth vanishes, would you still stick to it? Would you still pursue it and go on steadily towards your own goal? As the great King Bhartehari
says (Niti-sataka, verse 74) :

Nindantu nitinpunah yadi va stuvantu
Laksmih samavisatu gacchatu va yathestam;
Adyaiva va maranamastu yugantare va
Nyayyat pathat pravicalanti padam na dhirah-

"Let the sages blame or let them praise; let the goddess of fortune come or let her go wherever she likes; let death come today, or let it come after millions of years; he indeed is the steady man who does not move one inch from the way of truth."

Have you got that steadfastness? If you have these three things, each one of you will make miracles."
(Source: an excerpt from the book of Inspirational Speeches long back in my college library)

The Bad Omen

It all started a week back, I reconnected with an old on-line friend, with whom I had lost touch for almost 3 years. We had a pretty awesome reunion. Both were more than happy to be back in touch. When everything was going just great, my on-line friend disappeared. There were no updates about my friend's status on any of the social networking sites I knew of nor there was any reply to my messages. I was worried and even had very disturbed sleep during those days. A couple of days later my friend got in touch and I learnt that she had met with an accident! Later we had a fight over a petty reason and we stopped talking to each other.

A few days later, one night I was taking my regular walk in the streets near my home. I was lost in some thoughts and I was crossing the road in an absent mind and got in front of a two wheeler. The rider just smiled at me and passed away and I continued my walk. While I was retracing back to my home, I saw a crowd near the place I had this incident with two wheeler. It looked like the crowd was surrounding a person lying on the corner of the street. I peeped through the crowd and tried to catch the glimpse of the person. I was shocked to see that it was the same face which gave me smile couple of minutes before. The person was lying unconscious and I could see traces of blood on his shirt but couldn't tell where it had dropped from. I was afraid and like a coward I left the crowd and the person. I still do not know what happened to that stranger.

Now this happened last night. I was supposed to go to my sister's place to stay overnight there as my brother in law was out of station. I was bit reluctant to go as it was too far from my office and had to take several buses to reach the place. Moreover I had evening meeting at my office and it was going to be late. But somehow I managed to reached the place. My 4 and half year old Nephew overjoyed to receive me. He was jumping all around the home with happy and I had warned him to not to get hurt while doing so. I had had my dinner at office as it was late and I decided to prepare my bed straight away as the next day I was supposed to start early for office. I usually prefer sleeping on carpet and I started spreading the plastic carpet on the floor of the Hall. My sister went to room to fetch me a blanket and I was getting pillows from the Sofa. Just then my overjoyed - jumping nephew jumped on the carpet, slipped and fall on his face, hitting his forehead to the edge of the wall. As a normal reaction I started shouting at him and went to pick him up. When I turned turned his face he was screaming with pain as he had got a 1 inch vertical cut at the centre of his forehead. My sister came running from the room and she was panicked, she's usually more emotional and this time it was worse. My nephew was bleeding and there was blood all over his face. I was dumb stuck and and quickly grabbed him and started running out semi naked without any slippers. One of my neighbour listening to our screaming was ready with his two wheeler. We took my nephew to nearest clinic and got cleaned his wounds cleaned. I had kept my hand on his forehead while we shifted him and my whole arm was covered with his blood. After the initial cleaning of wound the clinic doctor bandaged the wound and asked us to take him to a speciality hospital to get the wound stitched. We had another neighbour who had got his car to take us to hospital and we got the wound stitched and took him back home. I had called up my another elder sister to come over to console my sister.

My nephew is better now but since its an Head injury the doctor has asked to closely monitor his behaviour for next few days. Thanks to all neighbours who were timely available for help.

I do not know what these incidents actually signify. When I look back now, I think my nephew wouldn't have had his suffering if I hadn't visited his place and spread a mat that lead to his injury. May be my absent minded walk incident caused the two wheeler driver distract and meet an accident. And I might be an Ill Omen that made my on-line friend to suffer an accident just when we met after a long time.

I know this is a very bad thought to share with you people in my first blog, but I had to write what I feel and experienced. And I want apologise all of you in advance for, God Forbid, if you ever face any untoward incidents after reading this.